11 Important Tips On Teen Dating
By Roy Barker
1. ACCEPT THAT DATING IS NORMAL.
Whatever your parents think, teen dating is normal. You cannot learn everything that you need to know in a classroom situation. You will have experienced some interaction about family life at home, but it is important that you develop your skills, in situation where you have to give and take.
2. LEARN WHEN TO COMPROMISE AND WHEN TO BE ASSERTIVE.
Sometimes You need to make your views very clear to communicate what you mean. However there are instances when your partner will not agree with you. Then the art of compromise has to be learned. If you want to go and see a movie, and your partner really does not, make it clear that it's important to you to see this because, and state the reasons. Offer to go and do something that your partner wants to do and something that does not really appeal to you. Negotiate a compromise.
3. PRACTISE YOUR DATING SKILLS.
You are practising to find the right guy or the right girl. accept that your first date is not going to necessarily turn into marriage. If you mess up stand back and ask yourself why it went wrong. Be practical about this don't beat yourself up about it, just try and learn from your mistakes. Non of us are perfect, and we can never attain it, but there are certain social skills that we all need to learn. Interacting successfully with the opposite sex is one of them
4. DON'T PUT WITH ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.
Jealousy is about the most destructive force in a relationship. It manifests itself by someone wanting to know where you are every minute of the day. For part of the time you are going to have to be accountable, but you are single - you do not have to account for every single second in the day. It may be that your partner wants to restrict the people you speak to. You need your space, and your partner needs to respect that fact, as you have to respect their space.
5. DATING IS ABOUT INTERACTION NOT CONTROL.
Don't let someone control you by not taking into account your opinions. If someone is telling you what to think, and what to do, then they are being a control freak. Eventually you will want to break free of this. It may take 6 weeks or 6 months, but eventually it is inevitable. So it is better not to put up with that behavior at all. You may think that person really cares for me, but it's not caring it's insecurity. Being young is an insecure time for everyone, but forcing someone to do something against their will is a type of abuse, and should not be tolerated.
6. DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR PARTNER'S BEHAVIOR.
Everyone behaves badly at certain times, but you should never apologize to anyone, about your partner's actions, or about something they have said. Your partner has to take responsibility for their actions. If they are not prepared to do this and you feel uncomfortable, now is the time to think about ending the relationship.
7. DON'T DATE SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.
If you do not feel good when you with someone else there is no point in being with them. You need to feel appreciated and wanted as a person and make your partner feel the same. Flattery will get you everywhere, tell your date that you appreciate the fact they have made themselves look good to go out with you.
8. DON'T FEEL THAT CLINGING TO SOMEONE WILL MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK.
Again people want to be valued as a person and not a crutch to prop up someone else's ego. Everyone need their ego stroked, but by being emotionally dependant on someone you are denying yourself a chance to grow into your own very unique personality.
9. VALUE YOUR DATE AS A REAL THINKING INDEPENDANT HUMAN BEING.
Looks come into the equation when there's a chemistry between you, but don't lose sight of the fact that the person is important as well. Relationships based on looks alone do not tend to last. You have to value your date as a person.
10. DON'T BE HYPERCRITICAL OF YOUR PARTNER.
It is good to tell your date when they do something that you're not comfortable with. However if you are always criticising them,they are going to wonder what they are doing seeing you. 11. HAVE FUN AND ENJOY YOURSELF. Dating is not running a marathon, it is about fun and enjoying someone else's company.